To all the women who blow up too quickly and too often!!
Woman is a complete circle- love, care and sensitivity ! Ironically,I have seen how everyone avoids a volatile woman like plague. What transforms this epitome of sensitivity and forces her to give a damn about others emotions is huge. A woman’s volatile behavior is crying for help and seeking a redressal. As a remediation to support and to avoid being a volatile woman, I wish to share here pointers to explore on what is bothering her in my understanding of things..Hopefully, what can be seen can be cured as well.
If you are not a volatile woman, still go ahead and explore where it comes from and how to be an be an anchor to someone around you who is struggling.
1) Chocked Emotions- While women are the emotional anchors to their families,their own emotions go unaccepted and the bottled up feeling wreak havoc on their emotional health.Depressions is so common because they do not vent out their feelings due to reasons like forget it, what will people say, how does it matter,social stigma etc.
2) Relationships- Any woman who has a great deal to offer to this world is in trouble.The main roles and related burdens of expectations that a woman is made to carry leave her disillusioned with no time for her needs or well being.Many choose to cater to whims and fancies to their kids,Partner, In-laws or extended families and all this by trying to look/behave and talk their best.When they overdo, keeping all the balls in the air for long gets to their nerves.
3) Acknowledgement-Deficit-The problem with woman is that when she is acknowledged,she will go all out and take it on at an identity level.She starts living it as the ultimate truth.That is where the vicious cycle of self -depreciation starts.Imagine the damage it causes when that desired acknowledgement does not come their way.
4)Unmet Expectations /Ambitions-A woman is labelled to be pretty, bright and intuitive. She needs to be very quiet about it and take a back seat for the sake of the family,kids and relationships or it ruins the whole thing for them .Ambitions have a different meaning before you are hitched on than later when you are taken up in a relationship.Compromise is the general thumb rule and forgetting their ambitions and keeping their expectations at a back burner only builds more steam.
5)Life Pressures-It’s a double edge sword if a woman is working. Enough surveys suggest that despite working out side, the woman has to shoulder the burden of house keeping as a given. Balancing work -home can be pretty taxing physically. not being able to cope well can be equally bad as it effects are visible in their beliefs about themselves and their abilities. Going unaddressed for long,it leads to explosions that are uncalled for.
6) Insecurities Galore-Woman need to be careful against feeling inadequate,less capable,unskilled and be more self aware of what makes them unique. The low regard in which women hold themself is one of the greatest problem that frustrates them. While some fret over curly hairs and bony structures other looses sleep over not being able to meet the expected outcomes.Some denigrate their capabilities when life makes them take a break from work while others turn doubtful where a simple reminder that its just a phase and a strategic move can help. They choose to crack a whip on their hopes and turn angry and resentful.
7)Biology comes away- The whole of one’s life as a young woman is on show, a focus of attention and people notice them.
Consequently,Woman majorly set themselves up to being admired and noticed.And while work, kids, family,relationships,duties and responsibilities kept them busy, and without realising much you are now middle aged and anonymous without expecting it. For some this phase could mean its all over and this feeling of regret can be enormously disappointing .
As the above psychological, emotional,and Physiological demons gnaw at us but we need to just remind ourselves that ‘just because the river is quiet does not means that crocodile have left.'(-a Malay Proverb)
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO BE LESS VOLATILE?
While above pointers are a journey in to self awareness and knowing what is making you blow your lid at the drop of a hat, it is actually a realization of fact that you need to invest enough love,care,and compassion in to your well being.
Start living more on levels of :
1. What is the value you wish to contribute to the various systems you are part of?;
2.What do you believe about our self?
3.What skills/talents/capabilities would you like to develop slowly but steadily? and
4.What is important to you?….. so important that it leaves your inner being nourished from a simple ritual of going for a walk,reviving an old hobby to complex tasks of learning a new skill would leave you looking hopefully at tomorrow.
Perhaps,loving yourself is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
Choose wisely …..either muddle yourself in to your problems and feel drained or look up to building new strength and build your charm;inspiration and strength one step at a time.
Looking forward t hear in comments how this article made you feel!!