How to be more tolerant of toxic people in life and be emotionally smarter?
Have you ever come face to face with toxic people who despite your best efforts and motives,read You and your well meaning gestures wrong ?
Have you experienced how these toxic people’s volatile and volcanic temperament can affect your mood and emotions adversely?
And how about the bitterness that caves in when you are the victim of of their volleys at many instances?….
..and that too for reasons really uncalled for ?
Well if you can identify with any of the above statements the term ‘Toxic-Relationship ‘ is right within your grasp now.
Have you ever wondered, who are these Toxic People?
We all feel disappointment,sadness, frustration & hopelessness at some point in various life events. However,Some people become Toxic- read resentful and revengeful.They adopt and display unhealthy, negative thinking patterns and can have huge depression,guilt, anxiety, anger, or demanding-ness in how they go about life in general.
So basically toxic people have negative emotions that interfere heavily with their positive moods and purpose in life. They, in turn, unconsciously affect the people around them adversely.
What circumstances can lead to toxicity in People?
- Their belief that life has been unfair;
- Unhealthy thinking patterns;
- They demand people /situations to be the way they want and not how they are;
- They have low frustration level of stress ,trauma or general life experiences;
- Their beliefs are awfulizing- they comment like ‘how awful! ‘, ‘How horrible! ‘ and that abounds their language; and.
- They have negative /depreciation belief around self, people and the world.
Their toxicity is merely a psychological consequence of the defective thoughts processes collected over the years and spans across many episodes of life.
How one reacts when they meet a Toxic person ? What could be done instead ?
Our general and instinctive reactions towards toxic people range from dislike ,anger, frustration to extreme cold behavior. Possibility of verbal out lash around their behavior is common. But doesn’t that leads to more toxicity and headaches?
What would help instead ?
1). In my experience, we need to see how we can gain a perspective when we are around toxic people.
How about separating the person from the toxicity in behavior? It would definitely lead to a calmer outlook to whatever comes our way through them. Wouldn’t it ?
2)Their behavior is a cry for help!Help them to teach themselves some healthy emotional expressions or gift them some self help books ,motivational CDs, motivational speakers etc to enable them to cope.
3)Involving them in meditative pursuits will help them access their positive resources within and calm their frayed nerves.
4). Exploration of any underlying medical ailments should help. There are times when biochemistry of an individual can wreak havoc on their emotions.They are not even realizing the damage it does to them, to their relationships and support groups.
5). A third party exploration (Health/ wellness/life coach) can do miracles as they snotty despite the urational belief their socratic debates help toxic people to see their incongruence in life without an associated label and is well accepted too.
6).Toxic people might have an underlying belief to control or to belong.In the absence of the same, their regrets /disappointments spill over unhealthily .But one thing is for sure,Just by exploring a little deeper (especially negative belief )with empathy and concern, a heart to heart chat or dialogue can be a pattern breaker.
With times if there is toxicity growing all around us there are also many resources – scientific,Practical and affordable that are available.One has to just open up &seek help.
In case you like what i wrote here and would like to read more of this stuff .Please comment /like /share your opinion will be happy to write on what concerns you too.